"consumed in one big gush."

maybe one big rush? beacause water is rushing.. maybe lol
I like the magnum blue water..
Greta xo

Hi Bree - I really liked the start of this - cant wait to read more. One thing I had to read over it twice cause I wasn't sure if it was meant to rhyme or not (some words didnt and some words did). But other than that - a great start to a very interesting poem. I like how you're using a medium (water) to describe what you're feeling. Keep it up.

Mo

Well i think if u are needing help with this, you should join a club or something, they can help u alot.

I like it!

Well shut my mouth

if that aint deep

Awesome imagery, it really painted a picture in my mind on trying to escape from a past thats pulling you deeper into it.
favorite part was the repititions of the "don't look down, don't look down. Into the world that lies beneath me.
i really like this the more i read it. great job, keep writing.

The first line greatlt caought my attention.
The poem is very well done. I like how it
is written with such great useage of words. I give it a 5/5!

I could actually see the water flowing.. first a trickle then a rush.

Your use of discription waws wonderful. I cannot explain it, but in a sense I could even imagine the water being a beautiful magnectic blue...

Nicely done.

--Sher

Oops... Sorry hit enter too soon...

Anyways, back to what I was saying....

You take it from imaging water to a sense of how you are drowning.... gasping for air... for relief of some sort.

I like the fact that I was able to draw both pictures and sceneries from the same poem.

Ok... I think that is it lol...

--Sher

Great poem...this poem interested me.. the description was very well described.. and the flow was great.

loved the ending.5/5

Awww. such a nice poem. i loved uyour writing style you deserve 5/5

Memories are good to a point, but past mistakes we must learn from, don't let them pull you down, let them bring you up.... I think that's what you're trying to say within these words.... a another great write by you.

Starts off with intense imaging..
then a little murky..
and comes back around sharply..
well done..

A wonderfully beautiful masterpiece, u pulled it girl....just give me some more...loved it...handsome

I love it, it is so picturesque. i love the way the poem is almost like a story of what the narrator is thinking

I absolutely loved it. The flow was great and the metaphors painted a great story. I love the idea of drowning or fighting against the memories that a person may have and may want to get rid of. I think we all have some of those. Great job and keep it up!

Excellent!
Nicely done, the usage of the words is great, i can feel the ideas that you've written. very descriptive yet so simple!

keep it up!

Really great...i loved it...ohhh and thanx 4 commentin on my stuff

Good poem.
The flow was very good.
I love the subject and enjoyed reading it!
Take care

Another very well constructed poem. Lines are very well written. I liked the description... Well done!