or sign in with e-mail
by oddi tea Aug 25, 2007 category : Life, society / inspirational
Take a chance Get in trouble Don’t get scared The feelings will make you bubble Go fast Get hurt All the adrenaline I think it all as comfort Eat the dust Fall to the ground It never matters You are always found
by Narphangu
Okay, well... It's okay. But it definitely is aching for improvement. There could be some good visuals in what you wrote, but with the rhyme scheme, they just seem forced... Sorry. I did like the last stanza, though. But I would recommend revising the last line a bit. 3/5. Sorry, I couldn't go higher.