Chance

by oddi tea   Aug 25, 2007


Take a chance
Get in trouble
Don’t get scared
The feelings will make you bubble

Go fast
Get hurt
All the adrenaline
I think it all as comfort

Eat the dust
Fall to the ground
It never matters
You are always found

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Narphangu

    Okay, well... It's okay.
    But it definitely is aching for improvement.

    There could be some good visuals in what you wrote, but with the rhyme scheme, they just seem forced...
    Sorry.

    I did like the last stanza, though.
    But I would recommend revising the last line a bit.

    3/5. Sorry, I couldn't go higher.

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