Everything You Need

I've been trying to deal with you only being a friend,
But the more I think about it; the more I fall apart,
I'm fighting a never ending battle with my heart and mind,
As I rip myself apart for ever lying in the first place,
I may not be able to get you to forgive me,
You have every right to cut me down with your words,
But I will always do worse to myself with words and memories,
I may not do physical harm, but mental is just as bad or so I understand,
I make sure I tell myself I'm an idiot for lying every single day,
There's not a day that goes by it's not on my mind,
I know saying I'm sorry and that I was wrong wouldn't do any good,
But both those things are true; I've never felt this way about anyone,
My heart races at every thought of you and stops when you say I love you,
I don't have much left to give you and happiness doesn't seem to be something I can give you,
So I'll be your friend and everything you need, even if it means the death of me...