I Don't Even Know

I don't even know
This girl I have become
The pain and anger I carry
Was caused by a loved one

I don't even know
How my emotions took over
I just wish I couldn't feel
And wish I was never sober

I don't even know
How I trusted this girl
She was my best friend
Before she crushed my world

I don't even know
Why she backstabbed me
The hurt it has caused
I no longer want to be

I don't even know
Why I still have a life
The old me would have
Already taken the knife

I don't even know
How this came to be
Until I look in the mirror
And see a girl, me

I don't even know
What happened to me
I wish I knew
How this came to be

I am the girl
Who used that knife
Hurt and angry
She took her own life