Old Toy

by pixie   Aug 27, 2007


You leave me like an old toy.
So sad and alone.
I have to stop myself from crying.
From the beginning, I should have known,
That you were gonna go.
I shouldn't have fallen so deep.
I don't know why I was so blind.
I should have known I wasn't something you wanted to keep.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by just me

    I like this alot. I love it. really. It really explains how i feel right now. I love that last sentence. Beautiful
    <3
    L.C

  • 17 years ago

    by azii

    Absolutely wonderful!
    I lov this poem. Greatly done. But you said you wanted critisism so here's some: :D
    The last sentence is a lil too long. It makes the flow just stop being flawless. You can make it shorter for example this way:

    You leave me like an old toy.
    So sad and so alone.
    I have to stop myself from crying.
    From the beginning, I should've known..

    ..That you were gonna go.
    I shouldn't have fallen so deep.
    Oh why didn't I realise.
    I wasn't something you wanted to keep.

    It would be better this way I guess.. But that's just me.. :) Good job anyway! 4.5/5
    Take care