Goodbye

by carly morris   Aug 27, 2007


The big party only hours away so much to do so much to say what shoes to wear and what about the dress you look at the time there is not long left.
Your best friend bec greats you at the door five minutes later your on the dance floor many drink to come and one mad looking pill your on the dance floor feeling ill your friend bec runs towards you grip your hand tight the music dies down and on goes the light people stand around with a look of fright the ambulance comes takes you away cries of people break the silence as the sirens fade away you thing about your mum and what shes going thought how could you be so fooled six shots of rum and one made looking pill all
you thought it would be was a whole lot of fun
24/7 replays in your mind and all you can hear is you best friend whispering good bye

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Somber Esprit

    Wow. really really liked it!!! really good imagery and i loved the rhyme and rhythm. really well done. one suggestion though. separate the rhymes with comma's, and maybe break up the stanza's a bit. it would really help the reading of it. turn a great peom into a fantastic poem. also, i think at the end of the poem, you mean 'mad' pill instead of 'made' pill, and 'through' instead of 'thought'. hope that's ok... did i mention i really really loved the poem!?!

  • 17 years ago

    by carly morris

    Thank you

  • 17 years ago

    by Shirani Graham

    We welcome you for bringing new poems. Let your words spread lots of smile like blooming flowers of this site. Keep up your excellent work. Best of luck.

    Nazeer