by carly morris Aug 27, 2007
category :
Sadness, depression /
about death
The big party only hours away so much to do so much to say what shoes to wear and what about the dress you look at the time there is not long left. |
Wow. really really liked it!!! really good imagery and i loved the rhyme and rhythm. really well done. one suggestion though. separate the rhymes with comma's, and maybe break up the stanza's a bit. it would really help the reading of it. turn a great peom into a fantastic poem. also, i think at the end of the poem, you mean 'mad' pill instead of 'made' pill, and 'through' instead of 'thought'. hope that's ok... did i mention i really really loved the poem!?! |
by carly morris
Thank you |
We welcome you for bringing new poems. Let your words spread lots of smile like blooming flowers of this site. Keep up your excellent work. Best of luck. |