So weak.

It's so hard to hate you tonight... you look so thoughtful with your half ass smile. It's hard to believe this is it this is all happening now... it's nothing how I planned it when I was a child. The pressure from the sword in my heart is nothing compared to the knife in my back. You have as much as you wanted... you cared as if you'll get a second chance... noone ever told me forever ends tonight. The smile on your face... it almost makes up for the tears that I've cried. Watching the body go lower, I start to think of the past, and regret every fake smile I have ever made. Watching you watching me... a body cold on the ground with a smile bright enough to calm the sun... you make up for the things I lack. I cant afford to lose the fight... I know as soon as I walk away, I'll be dreaming of your face. I cant picture anything other than the thought of you, reminding myself, this is not who I once was. Friends say I've changed, I ran from my demons, and made them face my pain. I don't know how to feel anymore, I'm surrounded by the things I fear, though I know as weak as I am I'll never be able to face my fears. Though you've managed to block out a couple of my bad dreams, you always seem to be the one chaseing away my good dreams. You have a way with words... you never really meant to break me did you? All is forgivin... where I'm at now you cant touch me... I'm unbreakable... or at least the pieces that havn't yet been broken. Though as I look through the window... I still see the smile... though I'm gone you manage to be strong, and live your days with happiness... did you ever notice a note in the bed where my body once layed?