My Heroes Never Worried About Living Up to Someone Else

I was drifting in and out
of a midnight dream
about Serenity, filling my
sketching diary of Jayne, where the
River is wild and free
but most of all strange and beautiful
She's just a kid
She's just a girl
The words of a Book I read as a child
sing to me sad metaphors
of what I used to believe in
Back when I had more Faith --
the girl you can never keep track of
I saw my hero wander in the shot
with an entourage
talking while the film is rolling
playing out while still in production
as though they are two seperate worlds
that are but joined by an odd
rift in the time space continuum
No, not talking, but freaking out
He looks lost
but that's impossible
A ludicrous idea to me
He's infallible, he's God
And that's when it hits me
It's not him, but me
who has no idea what I'm doing
and I hide behind these books I read
and all these names I'll never be
I need to find my own voice
and show what's real to me
and not care so much what other's think
Because that's been done
It's come and gone
What worked for them
won't work for me
Everyone flies their own path
in this galaxy
So I'm not going to waste my thoughts
on things that I don't need
Like heroes and examples
that don't mean a thing to me
but I can't let go of the feelings
that meant everything to that little girl
I used to be
"Directors are powerful men"
So I can't compare myself to them
There is no need for comparison
That would make things so much easier
but he won't do a thing for me
He's busy living his own dream
and not worried about trying to be
like everybody else
That dream was a lie
Just a representation
of my insecurities
the person that I tried to be
Complacent and non-partisan
Oh, directors can indoctrine their own opinions?!
Sweet
Of course I failed so miserably
with my total lack of understanding
of what it means
First and foremost
A leader must lead