Its about time
i spoke up...
and finally exhaled...
waiting...
i've been waiting...
to say;
Dear (person who is supposed to be my mother),
Where have you been,
I dont know who you are....
Sure, your body is always there
your frame,
your hair,
your lips,
your tabacco stained finger nails,
your scent...
is always there...
but in your eyes,
your gone... you are no where to be found
the only thing that resides within you
is that drug...
that pill,
the plant
or the crack dealer down the street
looking at me
looking at my sister
through your hallow eyes...
saying
HA!
I have her and you can never have her back....
I am NOT i reapeat NOT
letting you hurt my sister
the way you hurt me.
The way you made me feel...
there is no way...
you said you were going to change mom...
you said things were going to be different mom...
well...
im waiting
my sister is waiting
your brothers are waiting
your sisters are waiting
when will you stop?
Just stop with lying....
your drugs... they speak through you when you are not there
when you are too busy being gone to be a mom..
just because you can't deal with the reality....
so
you can't wipe our tears away when we are scared.
because mom
its your fault we are scared....
you let this drug take over you...
you let this drug speak through you...
i can't keep living thinking
will you live tomorrow,
because then i will never sleep...
you cheated death to many times mom...
and i know this may seem a bit, rude
a bit mean
but its the truth
you know the stuff that never makes it past your lips.
its okay mom.
I will take care of my sister
like i have in the past,
and i will continue to take care of her...
i will be there for her
because you are too selfsish
because your too busy
dieing
to worry about your kids.
you were selfish with me,
and you know what mom...
im done.
im finished.
i can't do it anymore.
too many emotions live inside
that get bottled up
to many hurt feelings,
to many motherless nights
alone in the house,
dark and scared,
wondering where you've gone.
never knowing the difference
if you were high or not...
person who is supposed to be my mom
you scare me and thats
all you ever need to know!
