Not Quiet A Poem But I'm Trying To Make It One...Help Would Be Nice. Thanks.
So I was thinking about relationships the other day. I was trying to figure out why some work and others don't. I talked it over and thought it out loud with my bestest girl ever and I came to the conclusion that relationships are "ideas". Each person man or women has their own "idea".
Some people have an wonderful "idea" of how they think a relationship should work and how it should be. While others have an "idea" of just getting by with words rather than actions. They think if they say meaningful words over and over it will help make them last. Then again others have more of a action relationship, they leave notes, they sneak flowers, they say "I Love You" without the words them selfs. If everyones "idea" was the same then were would the challenge be of learning new people?
Like most of you know, I am not from here. I have moved around I have seen many different people and how they treat they're loves. Some great and wonderful, others awful and meaningless. But through all of this I have made and created my own "idea" of a relationship that I would like. But like others I have settled or pushed or made it more than it was. I will always try to make things work, even if the "idea" should just be left alone, I will try to keep it up. I believe that people can change if they are shown more, I think with the right side of my brain, I have to see things to understand them. So i treat everything I do like that. I'll be the first to show you how much I care, before I ever think about saying it. I don't get attached very easily, it's very hard for me. But when I do, my "idea" grows along with my smile. Each learn from each other.
The "idea" that some create is beautiful and almost perfect. But when those "ideas" and dreams and hopes are crushed and dashed by someone else, who simply did not have the same "idea" as you, they fall so hard. You can see it in their face and actions and their hearts that they are just broken and dark. I've been there done that. My "idea" was awesome and wonderful but someone else crushed it all because his "idea" was different from mine. So be it. It happened, we move on, we learn from the good times and the bad. But when I see how my friends are hurting and upset I can't help but want to fix it. But I have learned that sometimes all I can do is say what i need to say and just let them think.
Memories are made that others could never be apart of. Time was shared that others will never experience. Laughs, tears, inside jokes things that mean so much to you both, will always be there. Others have their own funnies and their own special times. Only those few that take the time to make the "idea" work can share these. Each relationship is so different, it kills me when people compare each other to past loves or use pain as a hiding point. I am not them, I am me, a lover, a thinker, a caring, a thoughtful girl who is so ready to try something with you. When you shut me out or push me away it makes me want to scream and punch you. Let me show you, just once. I can only do so much, I will not try to be her, I will not try to make you want me. If you don't want me as this, then we shouldn't was our time.
Sometimes we stay with the "idea" and are afraid to let another person in to share your "idea". Fair enough, but think, if you hide your "idea" and you hide behind the I don't want to be hurt mask, you learn nothing. It takes time, it takes willingness but most of all it takes an "idea". If you give someone your "idea" and they crush it or don't help it grow, it hurts. Yes, it hurts. But honestly, just because one person doesn't care does not mean that others don't. It might take a little longer, it might take a little conversation, but in the end its worth it. Because you have found someone who's "idea" is the same, you have found someone who wants to make the "idea" work. They love the "idea" so much that nothing is too much, nothing is too far away.
Together we can make it work, together we can make it special, together the "idea" can be spectacular. But only together, only together can it work. So walk with me and lets try. I'm ready to take little steps and learn if we trip. Are you?
Smile with me. I know you can, I saw it that one day we were together.
