This is very good. I like the flow and the storyline. I love how you go from one scene to another. All these things makes this one piece work.

The only thing that I would really change is the part:

"But

I had nothing to offer but my white dove

^^^^^
I would say
"I had nothing to offer except my white dove"

Other than that this seems to flow very well... nice and smoothe.

--Sher

This was very long with the way you set it out, but it was soo good.

Wow. i loved this whole piece. i loved the concept of it, the words you use. it was a delight to read this. great work 5/5

This is ahmazing.. i love it.. 5/5

I love how you wrote it, the style just work's with this peice.
It was long, But reading it- I didn't feel like it dragged on.
Awesome job:D
It seemed to flow well,
and If nothing else it was enjoyable.

Well done,
Elly. 5/5

"My dove died."

^^Such simple words, and yet the imagery and emotions they create are overwhelming...my favourite line of the whole piece.

Again, I noticed alot of fillers which kind of distracted me, but other than that, this was perfect.

I didn't really like how you spaced out the lines in this poem, it's very distracting. Overall, this piece was very unique and I loved the srtory to it. 5/5

marcella