Cries of Despise

The car drives away
Almost in slow motion
I'm holding back these tears
The ones I've held for so long

I don't want them to leave
But at the same time it feels so right
So many emotions
I can't get through them all

Tears fall slowly down my cheeks
Reminicing on the days we all had
Playing around in your gold white covers
Laughing until we're in tears

Falling so hard now
Confusion setting in hard
Like an angry river
It's waves crashing on the rocks in despise

So difficult to be sad
When you're so mad at yourself
And moving on
Isn't even in the picture

Depression
A complete understatement
More like obsessive
Obsessing over what I've thrown away

The ones who've been there
Are no where to found
No where in sight
Their voices a vauge echo

So what are my steps now?
Where should I put my thoughts?
What happens to me next?
How can I live to the following day?

Running around in the kitchen
Screaming so loud
But we don't care
We're making memories and don't even know it

Sometimes, in my head
I think this is all a dream
None of this is real
But, I wake up the morning after

Reality sets in
It is all true
Yet again, my tears fall
Hard