Googled Your Name

Days to waste; So sad, but true.
Alone, no doubt; Eyes peeled for you.
Afraid to face the dark unheld;
With only a blanket between me and hell.

Searching so fervently for just a sign;
Seeking out lies so I can sleep tonight.
I am selling my soul to forget you are out there,
while tempted to drive off a cliff in my car.

Emptied of passion, while of you I'm drained.
Searching for any escape from this pain.
Sensing I'm doomed as I hide in my room,
all my lights I keep on:
I'm not safe without you.

Dreading what once was a pure-bred existence,
seeking a warmth in the frozen cold arctic;
I googled your name, just to rid of this pain,
but I kept pressing next, searching on every page.

I don't know how to live;
How am I to exist?
With a shiver, I wonder:
Can I get through this?
... With no warmth, with no touch,
without beauty and love;
How am I to survive?
How am I to get by?

Put my head on my pillow,
supress all the rage;
All the fear I fight off,
all the demons I face.

And without you to hold me,
-- With no one to assure me;
I don't know where to find such strength
to last for all eternity.

I'm alone; I am breaking.
I'm deteriorating.
Going down with each moment;
I can't take the pain.

It was love I was building,
and Love, you tore down.
It was hope I was holding,
and hope is gone now.

As the final incision is made on my soul,
I relinquish my heart and my eyes start to close;
I'm beginning to wonder what dreams I may have;
Yet, I close my eyes knowing
You're
Not
Coming
Back.

Thanks a BUNCH for critique given by Sherry Lynn!

Thanks for reading, as well. I enjoyed writing, and I hoped you enjoyed reading.
Please comment/vote honestly and accordingly.

Thanks again,
~Stephen White