My first true happiness

by Cara   Sep 1, 2007


The knife sits on the table,
watching me im unstable
i reach, i pause, i cry
i wonder, worth it to die?

I've tried talking
they all end up walking
out on me anyway
might stay,
they think it will help,
i turn up music so
they dont hear the yelp

they think i'd never do it
how wrong they all are
here i sit, in the darkened
room lit

Feeling me slowly slip away
the pain from which i gain
My first true happiness

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by PoetryKnight

    Great poem for as short as it was it sucked me in , 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Faithless

    Wow this poem is really dark...it maybe short but i was able to visualize the dramatic event.I like the twist at the end though, instead of feeling in pain u felt happy

    Excellent Job
    5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by Grant Gilbert AKA Slash

    Well Cara this is different so i guess it would be fictional, although i think most people entertain thoughts like that at some stage in their lives. I think you captured the feelings and emotions of the situation very well
    WEll done 5/5

    Grant

  • 15 years ago

    by iFallToPieces

    Wow hun, this is really good, and i feel the emotiion of how you were feeling, its honestly great

  • 16 years ago

    by Nicole the Fairy

    Absolutely, positively EXCELLENT!
    Loved it all the way!
    Loved the structure.
    Loved the rhythm and rhyme.
    Well thought out and related to myself quite well.
    Enjoyed reading this poem, eventhough it is a sad/depressing poem.
    Also loved the poem's Title: My First True Happiness
    Worked well with the poem itself.
    Well done,
    Keep it up.
    Can't wait for next/more poems.

    - Nicole xx

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