With no guilt

by Cara   Sep 2, 2007


We will leave you, with no guilt
Who's fault is it, you ask?
it was you who always built
a wall between you and the lil kiddies
you did this with anything
alcohol, drugs your prime activities
i think its time
you came back to earth
climb off your lil shrine
then maybe, you'll control another helpless kid
until they too realize your just an invalid.

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  • 15 years ago

    by Mister 47

    I can feel the depression and the deep sadnes in your words ...

    and i know that only the girl that lvoe that man a lot would jsut say these words to him ... it seem like blame and a jsut a very ahrd wish hiden to be the oposit of what he is now ...

    this was a very short poem , but a very meanful one , ...

    alothough i wouls prefer some rhyming adn more structure lie decomposing it into liek 2 stanzas , but i think the kidn of feleings you have been in wouls liek prevent some sort of organisation

    great one and very good that you be able to get thsoe feeligns out
    ^_^

  • 15 years ago

    by Mister 47

    Well the expression are really sad , i can see ,
    but the structure is a bit off you need to decompose it into stanzas ,

    and the rhyming was a bit off ,
    but considering the strong emotions and expression of this poem and the sadness and the true pure feelings . this was discarded ...

    great one !!!

  • 16 years ago

    by Nicole the Fairy

    Very nice poem, related well.
    Kept me reading, but I had to read it twice.
    I felt a little drifted from this one, but it was still very well made.
    Keep it up <3
    Again 5/5

    - Nicole xx

  • 16 years ago

    by waiting 4 some1

    Well done

  • 16 years ago

    by LoveKeepsMeStrong

    I like the power in this one
    well done
    xx