In Tought

Into this world I was brought
Without my consent
Was raised to be someone I couldn't be
Someone I didn't want to be
What a coward I am
No one would believe

I am tired of living this life
Tired of having people expect too much of me
They're mad as hell with me
Because I'm not the girl they wanted me to be
I remember when they told me
That they didn't need me
And life for them would be better
Without me

Oh,
How these words follow me
Darkening my soul
Piercing my heart
And plaguing my mind
Every time I think of them

Evil and selfish
Is what I'm slowly becoming
But it is not what I want to be
And so I cry
To avoid committing suicide
I cry
Endless, silent tears
Constantly asking why
Why do I live?
Why cant I die?
Why cant they accept me the way I am?
Why do they treat me differently?

The answers
Ill never obtain
I just don't understand
I try my best
And yet
They aren't satisfied

God please help me
For I love
I love
And I love
But lies, hatred, and ungratefulness
Is what they see in me

Must I pull my heart out
Just for them to see
To see me
Accept me
Believe me
And
Possibly
Love me

I'm sitting in my bed
Nose stuffy
Eyes red
Eyes burning dry
I can no longer cry
Alone in the dark
No comfort attained
No words said
No love gained
Weary and tired
I look at the time
Three days before my birthday
And death is on my mind