Take Me Away (Triple Doditsu)

by Jenni Marie   Sep 4, 2007


All elegance has been lost
No longer have will to fight
Tired of always hurting
Come take me away

Tears falling like acid rain
Can not recognize my smile
Feeling nothing, only pain
Come take me away

Used to be so euphoric
No longer know the meaning
Can't go on like this for long
Come take me away

Doditsu-Consists of 4 lines, syllables going 7-7-7-5

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by NyellMoonlight

    Wow, very powerful piece, short but effective. I like the repetition that you made in every stanza.
    The wording is great, and the emotions portrayed greatly. I can relate to this piece.
    My favorite stanza is:

    -All elegance has been lost
    No longer have will to fight
    Tired of always hurting
    Come take me away-

    5/5 from me

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