Your poem is nicely written..just edit some...for instance, the word gild that must be girl, right?..there are still few..i know you'll notice them.....5/5..

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You have too many repetitions in this one, so it ruins the flow. You could work a little bit more on it, especially on the first and the third stanza. The second and the fourth stanzas are greatly written, with good flow and wording. I don't want to offend you, that's just my opinion.

Its a well written poem, pretty good one and I like the style of this sound, perfectly a superb poem. Also, the above comments gives a massive thrilling, really you deserve for the best writing and I need more of such poems. Just keep me informed of any fresh blooming poems...

Luz and Naz

It was okay.. =]]

amandaxx.

This piece does not flow as your others do there are a few mistakes and some of the wording chould be chosen better.

Well this is what i call a cliche, from the ideas and the chosen words.. u keep on repeating the same words over and over, i suggest to enhance your imagination and description coz i can feel the good topic and so as the idea just try to brng out the best in you..

The poem has very unusual wording, but the feeling is delivered effectively, with the use of poetic license

Yes, the repition didnt work in this one, made the flow a little rocky. Very cliche, yet i did enjoy it somewhat.
love Tara-Kay
x

The flow was choppy, and I think it's because of the repetition, or rymthe scheme.
Instead of having a rymthe scheme of AABB
You could have one like AbAc, perhaps that will make it less cliched.

I like the thought behind the poem, and I think once you revise it, after taking the critique from the fine poets above, you will improve this peice alot:)

-- Elaine.

U deserve to get 5/5 its perfectly describes ur feelings endeed! hmm i was impress ur work i think it written well and dont need to edit or etc.. coz for me u captivated me! i love the way how u express ur feelings its was great keep it up!

Can you cheat someone to die? I think it would read better as cheated him of death, or cheated him to death (although this would be grammatically incorrect). Nice concept, though.. xx

Again another really sweet but sadish poem. I like the way you used repitition in this poem to add more meaning xxx alex xxx

I'll start off by say I love the title :) However, I think you force too much of your rhyming. Poems don't have to rhyme. You can write from your heart about love without rhyme.. then it may be more prose.. but that's not a problem.. Keep improving, 5/5