Crimson Sighs

by Beautiful Chaos   Sep 5, 2007


Bitter winds have swept the shore
Taken all I did adore
Nothing lives here anymore
My heart lay bleeding on the floor

Drink the wine you've come to know
Kiss my veins, release the flow
Touch me now, before you go
I'll think of you when winds do blow

Crimson sighs and blackened thought
Angry words for all we sought
The bluest eyes I ever caught
Pulled me in to all I fought

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by 4 track demo

    Captured everything i like in a a poem, structure, flow, rhythm, cohesiveness, the whole shabang, only 2 things struck me as odd, and maybe they were planned on your part...the end of two lines...did you mean them to say

    never caught? &
    blackened thoughts?

    those two lines just confused me a little other than that it still deserved a 5 from me and a
    HELL YEAH...

  • 17 years ago

    by Crystal Gaze

    Excellent Peice!

    This poem is very gripping. It really pulls in the reader. The flow was amazing.
    Your rymthes were really good, and you held the reader's intention.

    Awesome Job,
    Keep it up,
    Elaine.

  • 17 years ago

    by Momentary Relapse

    The flow is what draws me in. Do like the imagery like the 'bitter winds' and all. Different write than others I've seen...yes different... I could say use punctuation to help add to this piece but even I don't use it. Don't know maybe you could have continued with that 'shore' or a similiar image.
    ~Faith-less

  • 17 years ago

    by Catastrophic Beauty

    Wow. Excellent poem...sad though. The rhyming scheme is wonderful; I loved how the whole stanza rhymed. And the flow was so perfect. This was a very enjoyable read.
    5/5 because you truly deserve it.

    -Shannon <3

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