Wow, i dont know what to say, the way you capture the idea and put it into words is brilliant. you make writing sound so easy to do. i love the way you described what she was doing and how it made her feels, and the way you told the reader how her life crashed and became much harder when things went wrong, nice work

One of my favorite songs. I like the format you have chosen and the line syou chose to use, I think they fit rather well.

"Feelings don't matter, who really cares about those?
So hold you head up high Baby - strike a deadly pose."

This does not flow as nicely for me, maybe something more like:

"feelings don't really matter, who cares about those? So hold your head up baby-strike a deadly pose."

Other than that I think you did a great job, nice emotion and imagery. Thanks so much for entering the contest.

This poem / song has a good rhyme to it and i thought the flow worked quite well ^^
It's a very long piece and I can see you must of put a lot of time and effort into it =] Really great job, it's a descriptive and well worded poem