Last Christmas

I stared out of my bedroom window,
Watching the drifting flakes of white.
They danced in the cool, winter breeze,
And seemed to be blissful and bright.

Watching the other children play,
And make snow angels was such a sight.
It cut me deep, for I always new,
I'd never be an angel and take flight.

A horrible yell from the room next door,
Awakened my sorrowful senses, and I had to go.
For my father was calling, he wanted me there,
For a purpose, I dare not ask as I fill with woe.

As I walked into the dimly lit room,
I could not help to wonder if this was the end.
Have I been bad again, and ruined his day?
With pain like this, hope could never mend.

He yelled my name with such horrible force,
I wanted to run away but I knew I could not.
He thrust a dirty box into my arms,
And yelled, 'Now go away and rot!'

I nodded a quick thanks, and turned away,
Half running back to the safety of my room.
I peeled the cardboard lid away and peered inside,
To my horror, there it lay, the cause of doom.

I threw the box down to the ground,
And hid my head as tears began to flow.
What would he do, if he saw me like this?
Nonetheless, the tears did not slow.

Christmas finally came to an end,
And new years passed as well.
My resolution, was to end this pain,
And make my father never yell.

I did not need to do this though,
For one day my dream came true.
The police took his ragged self away,
And it made me feel almost new.

I turned 18 that very month,
And no longer did I need to fret,
For I could leave this life behind,
And forget that he and I ever met.

Life was great, and filled with joy,
I became a writer, much to my delight.
The wounds finally healed,
And a smile emerged, I finally saw light.

On my 27th birthday though, all came to an end,
For I read a certain book, that brought me to my knees.
It made me want more, in this life of mine,
And the despair began to grow, begging, 'Please.'

I lasted a year, until it became too much,
I cried every night, I wanted to be gone.
If only my father, had finished what he began,
And worked me until I never saw another dawn.

I don't know why anyone visits my grave,
And reminisce about that sorrowful night,
When I picked up my present, from 11 years ago,
And pulled the silver trigger, finally an angel in flight.