I'm used to it all

I'm used to it.
I swear I am.
I'm used to being alone
Not have anyone call me
tell me they like me
or better yet love me.
I'm used to not getting sweet kisses
I'm used to not feeling like I'm loved by him.
Or anyone.
I'm used to feeling alone.
Lonely.
As if I'll never find anyone.
I'm used to feeling insecure
And pushing off everyone
And pushing them away
Since I think I'm so fat and ugly.
I'm used to the fact that I never really healed
from when he used me.
Well tried to.
I'm used to the fact, of being jealous
When all my other friends find love
And happiness.
And I'm just stuck here.
With nothing.
Not that I ever had anyone call me on the phone
Or IM me , or whatever.
To tell me they liked me.
I mean,
Really liked me.
For who I am.
Not because they wanted something.
I'm used to it all.
I swear I am.
I'm just...
Sick of it.
And want to cry.
But it's whatever I guess.
I'll never find anyone.
And I'll never get married.
I'll be that bitter old lady
With 27 cats.
That never had any love
in her life
or gotten laid.
Ha ha!
Hmph.