Comments : Writing poems, folding letters

  • 17 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Very good writing and i like the idea of your poem xx

    keep it up xxx

  • 17 years ago

    by Alma

    As we get older our relationships and lives get more complicated we loose the innocence and ignorance of being young when all we cared about was having fun. You captured this perfectly! 5/5!

  • 17 years ago

    by X Kashies Misery X

    Awwww thats really cute......
    ^_^ nice work I loved it!! had really nice flow to it

  • 16 years ago

    by gabriella

    Cuz we all know tomorrow gonna be better
    I don't know it was cool when I was
    Writing poems, and folding letters.

    i lvoe this poem i know how u feel i wish i was a child everyday i wish everyday my mom wasn't bipolar depression etc. i relate and give it the best vote good work

  • 16 years ago

    by El

    Great poem =)
    nice flow

  • 16 years ago

    by Jenni

    This was a very reminicent poem. I really enjoyed the emotions you portrayed in it. Everything was so raw, and this poem gave me an insight on how you view your past. Very good. 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Lizaveta

    Aww i can completely relate.that is the poem i wanted to read now because i feel nostalgy. this one expresses this feeling so well.
    repetition of this request "take me back, take me back to simpler times..." is good here, emphasizes the nostalgy u feel.
    and how you combine
    real things like:
    "alcohol and the drugs",
    feelings:
    "When my friends were always there
    And love only has begun. "
    "One without depression, without pain "
    and beautiful metaphors:
    "Let me feel the gentle caress
    Of the tasty autumn wind
    Entertaining my mind
    With simple fairy tale make- pretend "

    this stanza about wind really blew me away.

    all in all, i think i know this feeling of disappointment and regret when life is getting too complicated and seem too wrong, and you start to miss simple but such precious things like friendsip, sincere love...

    and back to images in your poem. these two: "autumn wind" and "folding letters" are so vivid. the sound of gentle wind, the sound of letter paper being folded reminds of something old, something from the past and something you miss.
    the only thing i can criticize here is rhythm: in 2nd stanza it's a bit off. you might change it for something like:
    by Raindrops

    Take me back into a simpler time
    One without pain, without depression
    Just when we all thought
    We were fighting the oppression

    Take me back
    to me writing for simple fun
    To my friends who were always there
    And love that has only begun.

    but that was just a thought. it's ok the way it is in the poem.

    ok it's 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Live WeLL

    Wow this is a really great poem.. and i really enjoyed reading it.. i can relate to this one a lot.. i def wish I could go back to better days..

    Take me back
    Till I was writing for simple fun
    When my friends were always there
    And love only has begun.

    Just thinking of times like these put a smile on my face.. unfortunately time changes people and everything around us..

    Let me hang out
    Without alcohol and the drugs
    We all got along
    When we weren't suburbia thugs

    That is an amazing stanza.. a lot of us don't really realize it until we stop to think.. but drugs and alcohol really change people.. takes away their innocence I guess and really changes people.

    Your poems really gets me thinking and that's what a good poem should do. Great job on this one. You have a good point. Nice job 5/5 =)