The Secret

A secret
sacks silence.

Whispers
whistle in wind.

Concern
crowds around clouds.

As formality moves,
a fog is at force.

Breathing breaks
gassing gasps.
^Aww, I found something really interesting and unique in your writing, I don't even know if you noticed it lol. In all of your previous stanzas, the main words have all started with the same letter, like "Formality, fod, force." or "Concern, crowds, clouds." I loved it. But at this stanza it stopped.. if there is anyway you could start that up again it would be simply phenominal. (:

Are secrets shocking?
Only nature tells.

Secrets sell shackles,
but even shackles save your soul.
^Very nice ending, here you started it up again, and I really stress that you should reword those two stanzas, it would make the piece really great, i think. (:

Wow.
i love this, darling.
100%
it's really good, great meaning. (:

keep it up.

I have had a look through several of your poems, and you have a very definate writing style that I like.
This is probably one of my favorites, its very dark, visual, and beautifully written.
Very well done!
:)
Kat x

Truly powerful and effective piece, very unique. I like the dark atmosphere that your created through it.
My favorite lines are:
-Secrets sell shackles,
but even shackles save your soul.-
Keep up!
5/5 from me

Very deep and emotional poem, it has great rhythm. I like idea of whole piece, very interesting and refreshing. It has truly powerful atmosphere. Well done! It deserves 5/5