Why it hurts so much

I wonder why it hurts so much,
This pain that wont go away with a touch,
It doesn't hide from anything,
But hurts that much more as it rings,

I try to cover it up,
And make it seem like in fine,
But underneath my skin,
I feel weak and pathetic on a thin line,

I'm in so much pain,
It suffocates me,
But it just wants to gain,
And this pain is refusing to let me be,

One day I'm gonna lose it,
With my heart in two that just doesn't want to fit,
My soul is way to weak right now,
And my spirit is starting to leak,

So when I leave,
This humble world of normalcy,
And enter the image of insanity,
The pain might go away from me,

I'm hardly putting up a fight,
It shouldn't be this hard,
But I always hold the wrong playing card,
That is until I see the light.