September

September is an amazing month
The end of one season and the beginning of another
But September is so much more for me
Happiness and Sadness very much together

You see it all started 6 years ago
on the 15th when my dad died
He was only 52 and it happened so suddenly
That I didnt even get the chance to say goodbye

It happened on a Saturday afternoon
A memory that I will not ever forget
The phone call from my mum
My god she was so upset

I had to get to the hospital as quickly as I could
As dad had been taken ill, and things didnt look good
So I left and got there within 10 minutes
And tried to support my mum as best I could

So after 30 minutes of pacing the room
In came a young doctor to speak to my mum
He built us up, we started thinking dad was ok
Then he said I am sorry, and all I can remember is feeling numb

So my world collapsed around me
My best friend and mentor was gone
Who was I supposed to talk to now
So I just became withdrawn

3 years later on, the 25th September to be exact
I was back in the same hospital where my dad had died
And I was holding a baby boy, my son
And when I was alone I cried and cried

Cause my dad would have been so proud
Proud of his grandson and of me
But I would never see that smile again
It was just one of my memories

But this baby boy is no longer a baby,
Or a toddler, for he is nearly three
And a little man in his own right
With a whole life in front of him to explore and see

He made me think that life had a purpose again
Despite my failing marriage
That if I put all my energy into him
He will pull me along on his voyage

But my life changed a year later, 2nd September 2005
When I met somebody who I hadnt seen for a long time
She was beautiful, funny and intelligent
Little did I know that she wanted to be mine

She came out that night, with some friends on mine
But it took a lot of persuasion
We sat in the old town, having a beer or two
And it really turned into an occasion

That night we kissed again
The first time for nearly 13 years
Wow, wow, what I feeling it was
I was almost in tears

So began our affair
At the start it was only meant to be fun
But it wasnt long before
that I knew that she was the one

We fell head over heels in love
And from this love was born our baby Emily
She is beautiful and amazing just like her mother
I just wish things could have worked out differently

but you see I kept on breaking my promises
that one day we would be together
and in the end I took to long
and she got to the end of her tether

I lack the courage of my convictions
I know I am a liar, a wimp, a cheat
Because I should have been honest with everyone
And stood up proudly on my feet

And shouted that I am in love with her
And I want her to be mine
But I couldnt, not during this week
Which is why she drew the line

Under our relationship, it is now over
And I know how silly I have been
Because I have lost someone so special
So amazing, just think of the things I could�ve seen

So as you see September is a weird month for me
Full of highs and lows, good and bad
But I know what I need to do
To stop me feeling so sad

Like the trees shedding their leaves
I need to shed these lies
And tell everyone about us
To tell them why

Why I have fallen head over heels in love with you
Why I have wanted to spend my life with you
Why I havent been honest with them
And I know its this I must do

I guess its to late for us to have a relationship
For that is what you have clearly said
But I will do this for me and for us
To see what lies ahead

I love you and I always will
I�m sorry Ive been so weak
But you are my love and soul mate
I just wish you could turn the other cheek

I love you
xx