It is very interesting and rhythm of this short, but powerfully written, piece is very effective. I don't like the first two lines, they have usual rhyme and they just don't feet in whole poem. Rest of it is incredible, very emotional, so my suggestion for you is to change first two lines, because except them this is really great poem.

Far from horrible! The structure and form is great..You did an excellent work!

5.5**
<33

Such a cute poem I think you have done and exellent job with the ryhming(I know I spelt it wrong -.-) Keep up the great work ^^ You should write more of these times of poems you seem to be really good at them ^^ xx Much love Roxy

Excellent job for your 1st try.. to tell you the truth.. I can't do any form of poetry =P (Except Acrostic and Haiku)

Amazing. You really have the potential to become a great poet. btw. It wasn't horrible! It was a great poem - as always.

Good job.