Acetone: Sweet Taste Of Death

Date Written: September 6, 2007

It was around 1:30 pm
When I thought about suicide.
It was just so crazy--
Thinking about how to end my life.

I stayed in my room for awhile--
Stayed there && think more.
I thought about the times I made people laugh--
&& how thankful they were to have met me.

Life is just being cruel to me.
So I went out of my room--
Went into the kitchen;
Looked for some things to overdose myself.

But no luck for me for finding stuff to overdose me.
Looked harder. I found an acetone.
I stared at it for a short span of time,
"Is this it?" I thought to myself.

I grabbed it. Removed the cap.
I smelled the sweet scent of suicide.
Went into the bathroom; looked at myself in the mirror;
Saw a fat suicidal worthless && unloved girl.

I was having second thoughts--
Whether to do it or not.
My decision was made clear.
I AM GOING TO DO IT.

So I drank it.
It felt like fire going down my throat.
My eyes were getting wet--
I couldn't breathe-- I'm going to die.

I couldn't bear the taste of suicide--
I barfed-- like what I always do after eating.
My throat was burning.
My voice-- it's gone.

"Why can't I die," I thought to myself.
"I'm already feeling dead, why can't I be literally dead?"
I went back into my room-- feeling all groggy;
Hid myself under the sheets.

I thought that acetone--
Would finally end my life.
Failure. That was it.
I'm a complete fiasco.

I cried there, until I fell apart.
Fell asleep; When I woke up; my burning throat--
It's somewhat better.
But my feelings...

...still shattered.