One word. WOW! This was excellent Shauna. Beautifully penned. It's very powerful and dark. I loved your choice of words. It's also very unique and has great imagery.
5/5 because you truly deserve it

Keep it up!

Shannon <3

This is very powerful! i really love the way you write. the words you use, are just amazing in the way you use them! the flow, EVERYTHING was great! keep it up! you are so very taleted!

BabyGurl

Brilliantly penned.

I really enjoyed this, the poem felt like it went deeper than just words on a paper, or well in this case a computer screen. You did a really amazing job, if this is only your second, actually you did and amazing job either way...

Talented you are:)
5/5
-- Elly.

I like this one, it is really greatly written and deep. You expressed emotions excellently and created excellent atmosphere. Very sad and unique piece, it deserves 5/5

Wow!! this poem is deep!! and the way you use the it metaphorically was awesome, great poem and it is beautiful. you truly are a great writer. well done =)

I love metaphoric poems, and this blew me away cause I can never write metaphor like this. Great job with this, and keep writing and sharing!
5/5

A beautiful piece of poetry. The metaphors are wonderful and made for a powerful poem. Flow and word choice were great as well. A very pleasant read. 5/5

marcella

Aww beautiful piece. Very deep and thought it was a sad poem, some how made me feel all warm inside, i don't know why :). Wording was really amazing. Enjoyed reading it!
Keep writing. 5/5

This poem, surprizingly, meant a lot to me. It's quite short, the poem, but was very pleasant to read. I saw how you tried to portray the narrator's world, dissapearing, or fading unnoticed. I have a facinasion with the forth stanza, I just think it sounds so cool, and it is powerful. In sumation, (lol "sumation") I thought it was a wonderfully written poem, with "heart" spilt all over ever line.

Niiiiicely done, I thoroughly enjoyed it. ;)

~Richhieeee

Excellent poem, I really enjoyed it , well written and your emotions were great you express yourself very nicely , thanks for sharing ,,, your friend Tracy d 5/5

Wonderful poem. keep up the great work 5/5

Great job on the poem i like it alot keep up the good work

This was an excellent write, I enjoyed reading it. The wording and thought that was put into it was outstanding. You have a lot of talent, keep it up.

Also, in the first stanza, last line, I think you mean "ye" not "yet"

Peace, Joe

Beautiful emotions penned, Though sad, but well expressed..."sometimes need sometimes." Words may be mild and fair but the tone may pierce like a dart; Words may be soft as the summer air but the tone may break the heart; But tone leaps from the inner self, revealing the state of the heart. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way." Marvellous penned! keep them coming dear poetess, i'll visit again soon, take care, Bert.

Im gonna have to re read it a couple times but I reallly like it :)

I love it would you minded if I used it in an opean mic night get back to me A.S.A.P

Wow. I really love this stuff... I truly feel as if I am inside of your state of mind when you wrote this, as if I too were apart of you. God, how I love poetry!

Beautiful piece! unique style! short, but very deep. it leaves the reader with a feeling of unease, like there's something important being said, but it can't quite be heard. it was an enjoyable read. Great work.

Xxx

This poem was very elegant, beautifully worded