Comments : Father Why Have You Forsaken Me?

  • 17 years ago

    by cory

    Wow deep. i liked this poem a lot i could tell that your a talented poet.5/5

    Cory

  • 17 years ago

    by Nix

    Very sad poem, you expressed emotions greatly. I don't like second stanza but rest of it is fantastic. You created very strong atmosphere, and the way you described your feelings is superb. It deserves 5/5, well done!

  • 17 years ago

    by divine divinity

    Beautiful, so emotional and sad. you can really express yourself in your words.

  • 17 years ago

    by WiNgS Of StEeL

    All ican say is u sure do have a gr8 way with words...i can only hope that ill be able to put my emotions into deep and meaningful poems like you do:D
    keep it up is all i can say...i love ur poems
    tk care
    bree

  • 17 years ago

    by Corinne

    Very touching and heartfelt.

    You could strengthen these lines - Try to avoid using "there" so much:

    Searching for answers to why you weren't there
    You said you would always be there for me
    But you weren't there when I needed you

  • 17 years ago

    by Gasttlee

    This is a very emotional poem. 5/5 It's very good, though.

  • 17 years ago

    by Angie

    You have expressed a lot of emotion in this write. Very heartfelt, many people question the whys of when someone leaves us in this way, we tend to get angry when we need them and they're not there and thats when we question it.... well done D, well done.

  • 17 years ago

    by Aussie

    Amazing!!
    i like how the poem hav many twists. the ending was a shock. it sound as if u're talking to me. lov ur style of writing:)

  • 17 years ago

    by Tabitha

    Wow! this was very deep. I'm impressed! keep up the great work!

  • 17 years ago

    by Fluffy

    "Heaven has taken the man I called my dad...
    Inconsistent flashbacks conscripted in my mind
    Marching freely and toying with all my emotions
    Every now and then I would break down and cry
    I miss you so much dad why did you have to die?"

    These last few lines really reminded me of Dylan Thomas's 'Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night'. Heartfelt, emotive and delivered brilliantly through your choice of diction and imagery. The rhyme scheme and structure are consistent throughout. Well done, Daniel.

    HAHA :) x