Underneath the smoky veiled stars of night
I shiver as I wander the road of my memories.
As I look back, I cry again and again, rebraking my soul.
Though, I know, when the sun relights the sky,
I will dry my eyes and use my well used mask, my smile.
Smiling unfailingly, My heart screams for relief.
My Soul is tortured by your essence and your long lost pressence.
I can't seem to get myself to breathe.
My eyes frost over at the memories.
It's getting harder to be me and I don't think I'll make it.
My emotions and despair are taking over,
Whispering those happenings of the past.
While I dread the day and my disguise,
I cry in the night because of the clarity of your closeness.
The closeness of you that drew me in and made my life soar.
Your messy hair that could never behave
and your grey eyes like the ocean
that drew me into a trance until I was yours to control and calm.
Your disarming smile that lit up my world
and the laugh that made me forget everything.
How could anyone endure the pain I relieve eveyday and night?
I just can't seem to take the grief.
I beg you to leave me so I can live.
I beg you to take away my shame and emptiness.
So that I may, one day, look into the future
and know my memories have dimmed.
So that I will know I have found a way out.
So that I can know that one day I can smile my true smile.
