Very nice i liked it alot and keep up the good work =] 5/5

-blake

THANKS YOUR SWEET

U paint a picture like Tupac

Interesting to read this but it's good, tho.

The poem itself is self explanatory. I love these kind of poems., and you came across explain your emotions and feeling very well.
A few things I would change.
I would get rid of the caps. It's hard to read, and caps are often used to express "yelling" or "anxiousness."
Watch your voice. you start off by talking to him (whether it's in your head or whispering) then on the next line you start narrating. Then you switch again. this can be done, and you almost pulled it off, but in my opinion you switched a little bit to much and to sudden.
Well keep writing.. you look like you have a passion for it. Write me if you need advice or help, or to tell me to sthu. :)
~David