Very nice, really enjoyed this poem.
Good work.

Great poem

Nice...

I really liked your choice of words, they are different and work well to convey your feelings. The metaphoric element works well also. I'd suggest perhaps breaking it into more than one stanza to slow the flow down a bit because there is alot to digest and you run the risk of losing the power of the words if they are all to close to each other. Again, the word choice is really nice, this doesn't sound cliched or over done at all. I enjoyed reading this :)

I like the idea of the piece, and the variety of words you use here. I think the piece would read better if you broke it up into stanzas, because there are so many strong words and phrases that they tend to overwhelm each other when read togather as such.
I particularly like the transition in this piece, how at first you are almost seductive, but by the end have become 'wretched.' all in all though and enjoyable and interesting piece. Thankyou for your kind comment on my piece
~ariana~