If You Forget To Breathe When We Kiss

by xTheEcstasyOfSuicidex   Sep 19, 2007


The name was too long for the box, but the title is:

If You Forget To Breathe When We Kiss, You're Heart May Stop Beating
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If you get cold, that fire's not going to warm your veins; try a taste of gasoline to forge your heart into burning bright for you.

It whispers softly, "It's not about a true fire of melting points, it's about the intentions of passion."

And we shrugged away its meaning, just as we shrug away every chance we have a happiness. We shiver, "It's just a game - a forgery of the mind." You shrug your sweater closer; "It's just a little chilly out here, with the starlights bearing down an ugly tune as the only light we have left; it's just a little chilly."

If the heart is dead and burning, we're more likely to get hurt then if we douse it with a prayer; that prayer is only going to listen if you're not a sinner. And far past that Heaven, we'll breathe a little sharper and the leak you call a thought (though you really shouldn't flatter yourself) will beckon you farther to your prayer. The stars will answer if only you stop breathing - they don't like your oxygen. Now, I forgot to mention if you find this passion to let me know; I'll beckon you with my arms and show you what passion really means.

Your heart whispers softly, "It's not about a true fire of melting points, it's about the intentions of passion." And when you state, "It's just a little chilly out here, maybe you should show me passion." We'll have to shrug away your passages and tease you with our hearts.

But listen closely: if you forget to breathe when we kiss, you're heart may stop beating. I'll give you a lesson when I show you real passion; maybe then you'll believe in a passion that could chill your veins and freeze your blood, or maybe you'll then believe that this passion is a little thing we'll carefully label as love, a love that will warm your heart, and maybe even forge your blood cells into one.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Ashleigh Skye

    Wow this poem was pretty good.. not your best but good in a way. I agree that it sounds more like a story than a poem but some of the lines in here are beautiful. I think if you were to make it in shorter stanzas it would look more like the poems we are used to reading and it would be easier to stay in the moment

  • 17 years ago

    by Robert

    This was a good poem it was abit too long but the description was as always very well done good job plot121. Loved the structure as well.

  • 17 years ago

    by Idiosyncratic

    The stars will answer if only you stop breathing - they don't like your oxygen.

    Oh, the irony. Absolutely amazing. In fact, I'm not sure the rest of the poem is on par with it's brilliance.

    That line really stands out to me, but I did enjoy the rest of the poem. It's an extremely unique poem, I've never really read anything quite like it.

    However, there were some parts that didn't flow at all-- like the word passion, for example. It sounds like it fits, but throws off the rhythm a bit.

    Still, this is a great poem. Nice work!

  • 17 years ago

    by Choose xX Alex Xx Life

    I like the way that you put speech in this poem. I really can see a tale emerge from this and because of the length you allowed yourself to go into detail with this poem. nice write :D xxx alex xxx

  • 17 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    I felt this was a heartfelt write, however; I thought it was more of a story than a poem. The structure was more like paragraphs than stanzas in my opinion, but the flow was good. Overall good write, but not great.

    Peace, Joe