"hides some ill pains" << Okay, with this line you either need to take the (s) off of Hides or Pains.
- - Hide some ill pains.
OR
- - Hides some ill pain.

"agony is all i need " << Just capitalize the I, dear.

"Flushed oaths and vows
it decompose my brain"
^^ Best two lines of the poem, they're like POWBAM.
I love them, absolutely love them.

"discharges such heat" << take the (s) off of Discharge.

Overall, with very few mistakes, this poem is amazing. It has intense, dramatic feeling. which, I absolutely love. It's just an amazing poem.
Real emotion. (:

Keep up the great work, babe.
5.5

I really liked this one. I gave it a 5.

I love this poems, its great. i gave it 5. keep writing
kat xx

The grammar in this threw me off, but I felt emotions seeping out of it. A dramatic and well written piece, with decent flow. Lovely work.

Keep it up.
Take Care,
Smiles,
*N

I'm not gonna critique on the grammar of your poem, i could care less, the message of what it meant to me, is what is so much more important, when i read something this moving and powerful amd can look past little grammatical blah blah blahs, awesome job...!

This is a really great poem.
I love how you say sooo much without having an extremely long poem.

Amazing 5/5