Crimes

by Veamm   Sep 20, 2007


Crimes

The life penalty
borrowed freedom
Sent to hell's jail
a disadvantage man

Hands on rusty bars
eyes stared outside
Releasing a penance
wasted life on side

Have a lack of guide
purchase some smile
Then support yourself
reconciliation of crime

0


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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by BeautifulDisaster

    Really liked this. Made me think a lot. Its just so real & amazing. but it is lacking something.

  • 17 years ago

    by Gasttlee

    This is so real, it's not even funny! 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by ghosts in bloom

    This isn't one of my favorites from you, I didn't feel emotion or heart coming from it, and the flow was lacking. A good idea that I liked, just not my favorite execution of poetry.

    Take Care,
    Smiles,
    *N

  • 17 years ago

    by Lisa

    It was good but not your best.

  • 17 years ago

    by Teria

    I wasn't to fond of this poem. Not so much that it lacked emotion and such. But, because the words kind of .. didn't flow well. I liked the meaning, there weren't any mistakes [[from what I seen]]. But, I think the thing that makes me not like it as much as the others is the fact that the whole 3 stanza 4 line thing. It's the same, and it doesn't fit this poem. It needs like.. more edgey look to it.
    If that makes sense.

    I'll give it a 4.5
    It was good just not your best. :|