Why did you deny me?

How can you deny your own blood?
How can you hurt someone like that?
Did you do it intentionally or what?
Was there a valid reason you did it?
How could you hurt someone you said you loved?

Whatever you did with her at that time
Right or wrong, did you ever think of the consequences?
Or you just focused on the nice time you had
If that is the case, surely you were stupid
And why did you be that stupid

Who am I to ask or who will answer me?
Who will answer me because you are now gone?
You are gone and it's impossible to bring back
And you are gone without me knowing you
Without knowing you my biological father
Because you denied me and said you are not the one

I wish I had chance
A chance to ask you all this questions personally
So that I would know what led you to this mess
And maybe a privilege to know who my father is
But all I'm left with is a very hurtful pain
A pain that will remain in my mind, heart and soul
A pain that cannot be healed

Maybe if you didn't deny, I wouldn't have written this piece and...
Maybe if you didn't deny, I wouldn't be struggling this
But there is nothing that I can do
Because I cannot bring back the dead, speak to the dead,
Or even visit them in the dreams

If I could, I would ask you this question
"Why did you deny"?
And I wouldn't be smiling
Because you have hurt my mother
And of curse, me too

And I heard you later wanted to see me when I was small
Because I'm your child
And what you have done
I think you did it intentionally.