I Blew It - The Story of the Girl of My Dreams

I can't believe it has been a year
In this time I've lived all of my fears
Consumed by self loathing and sadness
Brought myself to the brink of madness

Been over a year since I blew it
Seems everyone but me knew it
Knew this amazing girl cared for me
The only good girl I've ever seen

We met and I fell for her so fast
I did nothing and time quickly passed
My lack of self esteem let me not
Express my feelings and take a shot

My self hatred lead me to the drugs
I was deeper in the hole I dug
Yet I knew good girls despise addicts
I kept up all of my bad habbits

This girl never judged my drug problem
Even after I reached rock bottom
She was there to help me make it through
Those dark days of my substance abuse

Yet I ended up with a new girl
And blew it with the best in the world
This new girl was a drugged up mistake
This taste of 'love' I got was so fake

The girl I fell for before this waste
Turns out I was the one she had chased
And told me all she had kept inside
I heard this and part of me then died

Her thoughts mirrored how I felt for her
I blew it with this good girl for sure
And the girl I was with is long gone
My memories of her aren't too fond

A year has passed and I still regret
Treating my true feelings with neglect
Had I simply expressed my feelings
My heart wouldn't have to be healing

So much time gone and my soul still aches
Sometimes I think she was my soul mate
In the time that's passed no one's compared
To this girl and all we could have shared

The only girl I've ever wanted
It's amazing how fast we bonded
That breif time of bliss I can't forget
That time before the day I blew it