Rain Down on Me [Trijan Refrain]

by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG   Sep 22, 2007


Hand over hand, I hold my heart --
Trembling with naivety,
Slurred poetry tears my world apart,
Setting me loose, breaking free --
Rain down on me, give me your all;
And catch me if I am to fall.
.............Rain down on me,
.............Rain down on me,
On these tired hands and knees, I crawl.

Hand over hand, I hold my heart --
To keep it in its place,
But piece by piece, you pick apart --
Whiskey tears on my face.
Rain down on me, cover my eyes;
Sing to me your torn lullabies.
.............Rain down on me,
.............Rain down on me,
And color me in a disguise.

Hand over hand, I hold my heart --
Begging you for some more,
Some more from you, to play your part;
Live on the vows you swore.
Rain down on me, make me yours now;
Dance with me tonight, take a bow --
.............Rain down on me,
.............Rain down on me,
Fall as deep as our hearts allow.

-Jenna Elphick
September 22, 2007

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The Trijan Refrain, created by Jan Turner, consists of three 9-line stanzas, for a total of 27 lines. Line 1 is the same in all three stanzas. The first four syllables of line 5 in each stanza are repeated as the double-refrain for lines 7 and 8. The Trijan Refrain is a rhyming poem with a set meter and rhyme scheme as follows:
Rhyme scheme: a/b/a/b/c/c/d,d refrain of first 4 words of line five /c
Meter: 8/6/8/6/8/8/4,4 refrain/8

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Viola

    I love the emotion in this. It beautiful and deep. Your choice of words also creates such real emotion that the reader is able to feel while going through it. It's truly a wonderfully written piece and I really like this style. I might try it myself.
    My favourite lines were:
    "Hand over hand, I hold my heart --
    To keep it in its place,
    But piece by piece, you pick apart --
    Whiskey tears on my face."

    ^there's just something about those lines..I can't pick out what..but it touched me.
    great work! =] keep it up.
    --Viola

    p.s.- thanks for the comment on my poem. I appreciate it greatly. (and btw I always use correct spelling and grammar, or at least try to, unless it's a mistake) :)