Rejoice

Hurt now, or hurt later
either way causes pain
But if I hurt now
then I can see
them on their way

Let me leave this place
knowing I'm to blame
so when the dark days start
they won't have to watch
as I slip away

From a distance I'll admire
and watch them spread
their wings once again

Arms that didn't know
what they held
Eyes that didn't know
what they saw

Let them move on
as life's axis spins
For I'm about to be thrown
into despair

The disease of one
can manifest it's tentacles
and grasp at all who's near

I'm just a shell
being eaten from within
not wanting to reveal the torture
with those near and dear
and for whom I love

So as the days are marked
I can rejoice in knowing
I've spared those close
from living my last days
in purgatory