The end of a dream

The End of a Dream

This poem is dedicated to Heather Ross
From John Phillips
March 30, 2007

Troubles and turmoil we both have seen
Efforts to remain civil over run, we became mean

I asked for a last chance, afraid of what you would say
The answer I got cut deep as I walked away

My passion, my dream girl, my one hearts desire
Without any effort you set my heart on fire

We have argued and fought and battled and rowed
Despite valiant efforts our love was not allowed

Now I lay here in my bed all alone
With so many regrets for the seeds I have sewn

Insane is the one word that best describe
The emotion and heartache I feel inside

Move on! Move on! I say to myself
But my heart is screaming for some sort of help

Things done and said out of passion and hate
And now I am left to the demise of my fate

You for me and me for you
We were one passionate soul engineered out of two

And so I exist in a black realm of dark
I have come to learn of loves bite and it's bark

Heather my passion, you were the one
I love you so much and now you are gone

Memories of things from days gone bye
Leave me alone with one question that's "why"?

I love that woman with a passionate soul
And now all I have is a big black hole

I tremble with fear as I lay here at night
So filled with terror and rigid with fright

I hoped and I prayed and I begged and I pleaded
That you would agree and say I was all you needed

Loving you was a roaring fire inside
Everything we said just turned out to be lies

The poem I retrieved from you yesterday
Once I received it, I just drove away

Destined for heartache, suffering and pain
I can't see that I will ever love again

Heather my baby, my love of my life
I really did want you to be my wife

Roses of green that you once did get
For that act of love, I have no regret

Mini golf one day did you and I play
I cherished you then in a very big way

Taco time was your restaurant of choice
As I sat there and listened to your angelic voice

Twenty Sixer of Royal we did share
We engaged in passion and love without a care

The walks at night going to your house from the club
Even back then I was falling in love

Out to the lake on a clear star lit eve
To seek out our passion was a welcome reprieve

Working in Lantzville one night we did go
At the end of the night on the dance floor betrothed

Hot summer days out at the lake
Quality times did you and I take

Me being fourty four you being twenty
You wanted more and I thought we had plenty

Fighting together side by side
Nothing in this world could conquer and divide

I waited on you hand and foot
In my life you were the first person I put

And so I sit here biding my time
Filled with a love like a passionate crime

I vowed and I swore that once you told me no
That I would have no choice but to let you go

Through thick and thin, good times and bad
You were always the one strength that I had

There was nothing in this world that you and I couldn't do
Except remain as one soul, we ended as two

So much faith and trust I have in you
I wish that you had that belief in you too

I've begged and I've pleaded I've cried out loud
For reconciliation, I'm really not too proud

I've messed up I know by the things I have done
I'm not proud of it Heather, I'm the shameful one

I'm jealous I know, I freely admit
When I see you with other men, I throw a fit

Your the only one that I wanted in life
I really did want to make you my wife

Without you in my heart my life is incomplete
And for your undying love I'm still willing to compete

Time marches on at an hour per minute
Simply because for me, your not in it

As much as it pains me to say this one thing
I hope and I pray that you find your new king

Happiness, joy and contentment in life
Some day soon you'll be some ones wife

And when that day comes along
I'll muster up all my strength and sing for you a joyous song

With your expectations low, you deserve the best
Don't sell yourself short, to hell with the rest

I talked to the Lord when you were not there
In the hopes of a miracle, and answer to prayer

I struggle as I write this with tears in my eyes
I want nothing more for you than a loving man who provides

I'm hurting so deeply, this you do know
So I ask that you understand as I attempt to let go

This poem must soon end as our relationship did
Regardless of the love for you that I did bid

There is so much more that I want to say
But my time has now come and I must stay away

And so I say to you one final time
I love you bebe`, I wish you were mine

Good luck to you in your future Heather, God Speed and keep safe

Your former lover, best friend, soul mate and former fiance.

~~~John~~~