The letter.

by Solus   Sep 24, 2007


A true story...

Five years ago overwhelmed with sadness I tried to take my life. A letter I wrote to those I'd leave behind rest near by as I filled myself with pills. The letter to this day remains a dark and chilling composer that I shall never forget......

To those I leave behind,
I cannot express the sadness I feel at having to hurt you all in this way. And some will feel that I have robbed you of my presence. To those who have known my life know that it wasn't a happy one....and still I'm plagued with scars both visible and those not. I've tried so hard to be everything in this life that I could be. But in the end all your love and care can't save me from who I am. In more ways then one I'm cursed with despair and fear. It seems all the good I did wasn't enough, and my sins both great and small haunt me still. I can't live this way.....not anymore. I don't expect you all to understand, for I myself don't. All I know is that I tried, I failed and this horrible suffering has to end. There are many people I'd like to blame for making me this way and showing me that this is my only choice, but to those I love know that this was never your fault. I don't know what will become of me for this, whether I'll just suffer more in hell or simply fade away. Atleast I won't burden you with my weakened mind anymore, forgive me if you can.

If not for the oddly panicking and crying cat who knew what I was doing, my mother would have never found me and saved my life.....

As I looked upon this black letter that I have kept, I find that I blame more people who have hurt and wounded me. I find that this letter rings as true as the day I wrote it and I often wonder if perhaps I had the right idea on that cold October night.....

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by SheenaMarie

    As they said...wow

  • 17 years ago

    by Meme

    Its amazin that ur lettin ppl read this
    WOW!!!
    Glad ur still here

    be safe :)

    ~gIrL~

  • 17 years ago

    by Natasha

    Wow, there's a lot of emotion in this letter.
    I think that it is powerful in what it represents and what it brought about.
    I am glad that your life was saved, for no one deserves to hurt, and no one should want to die.
    I hope your views have changed, and you have found a way to find peace and forgiveness in those you blame.
    great step posting this here, though it is appreciated.

    ~* natasha *~

  • 17 years ago

    by nering

    WOW...im glad and sadened to know that i am not the only one who perhaps thinks or tryes to disappear. I think sometimes what it may be like if i was just to vanish....

    Im glad we all get through it, because life is worth living--weird as it is God has a plan for each of us.

    Beautifuly writing style--I love poetry that is writing great and has meaning! Great Work

  • 17 years ago

    by Lisa

    Amazing wirte..
    i've beeh there,can relate
    take care fo yourself,the whole world should read your amazing poetry.
    takecare
    -Lisa