Why am i like this...

I haven't forgot what i one day thought
thinking i would die with nothing in rot
as i think ill rot
I'm not behind bars, just behind walls
in a hospital where i one day thought to rot
I'm sorry for being me,for i haven't killed
because i know what i could one day be
I'm sorry for being me
i haven't realized the danger i could be
just by letting me free,i might kill like a disses
but don't sees in the seven ocean sea
as i can see, i wont be me
for i can be nice
i could hate
i could love
i could cry like rain in its high sky
no one is like me, i have a disses
my personality is not a disses
i found that one person being me
i feel like I'm just going on because I'm a no life disses
just wondering and killing like a disses
iv gotten out of this hospital
knowing that i would one day be free
as I'm not a walking disses
I'm just being ceased by my own reality
now i can walk
now i can drink
i can see the seas, as my own reality
I'm a person for now,I'm just being me
i will not deny, i was caught once being nice
as it was to my likings, it was like my deed
I'm no longer a disses, I'm just me
dreaming a reality,for it can be a society
of helping others being my self, for I'm not to be ceased
now i write
now i talk
now I'm realizing my own reality
i was never sick,my mind was ceased
as i was scared never to be free
they locked me up, just for being me
i was helping a society, curing a disses
i cant believe,they paid just to sees me
i said, you must believe I'm being me
don't close me up, as I'm already locked
in four walls known as the walls of no reality
walls of fear, of me being alive
walls of hate, hate for just being me
walls of love,love i must not deny
i was alive for a love, not dreamed by me, its a reality
I'm just sorry
sorry for being me
I'm sorry for loving
sorry for hating
but behind these
I'm glad for not killing
glad for not fighting

I'm just being me,no disses on me
as i just looked night for a good sight
never seen by me
i found ticking eyes
i found watery eyes
i found peacefully doves,flying around the moon
in harmony of love and peace,hate to be scarce
but for the watery and shiny eyes
i cant deny ,she was hurt
hurt for her own reality
the sky so shy to say good bye
so it took a cry,raining so sky high
i felt like staying wet, no I'm not shy
as i got out my imprisoned mind
i found a little girl with rainy eyes
she said move! go hide!
as she was scared she found a griming knight
the ones that casted a bittersweet spell one night
me looking with no fright at the sky
she said run!run for your live!
i stayed saying, no I'm your guardian knight
as i saw her look up, there was no fright in her eyes
and a little shine no water to be in my sight
as if saying thank you my brave guardian knight
no fright to be in sight
i picked up a rose blooming with no hate in sight
i showed it to her sight
she liked it, i must be right
as i looked up it was not night
that same time there was to much to be at sight
i sighed,washing my eyes
i thought i must be dreaming, i see black roses at sight
as i say that green lightning planted
i saw that grew solid powder,dull and gorgeous
and i saw those o so shiny spines
that can cut just with a sight
a magical plant, i picked one up
as i noticed i fell ,moon in sight
i see a yellow light, no fright in my mind
as i herd ticking ticking from my mind
ticking in my eyes falling on a wet floor
not of tears but of blood
for i have committed suicide
as i tried to contain a magical plant
known as a black rose
i thought in my mind ticking from my eyes
I'm dieing
hell will tame
as i see black angels came
no thought to be a got
when a arc angel came
as i her a voice say, you will not contain
i floated in the air
no way to be here
as i looked up a golden door in my way
i thought god has blessed me for being the same
i Will always be in gratitude
in being to this altitude
I'm in heaven, i have no blame