by Jenni Marie Sep 25, 2007
category :
Sadness, depression /
other
She used to be so innocent, wholesome and sweet |
Wow the last two lines were my favourite by far. It wrapped up the poem but it also connected the poem to the title that you picked. Nice job. Usually I don't like poems with couplets but this one was very nicely done. You made each stanza powerful enough to stand on its own but also smooth enough to connect to the rest of the poem. The only criticism I have is that rhyme scheme is a little off. From what I can tell the rhyming is supposed to be aa, bb, cc, dd, etc and it works but when I got to the sixth stanza it got disrupted. I liked that stanza but I feel if you make those two lines rhyme it will make the poem sound better overall. But besides that everything else was really good it caught my attention and kept it. |
by jessie
Great poem and vey well written. It was sad to read though. |
Great write (once again) great flow strong emotion great work keep it up |
by Whitney
Well there wasnt just one part of this that i liked more than the others its all so good. I enjoyed reading this although its very sad. everyone has hard times, but the hardest are trying to pull yourself back up after you fall. Great Job! |
by Tim
Perfect write |