Can you comment your own poem???

Wtf??? you can!!! thats sooo kool/lame! =]

I loved this! It was so incrediable! You are a awesome writer so i dont think you are an ammature like you said on your bio((5))

Interesting title.

The one thing I do suggest you work on is syllabication. That's the biggest problem in your poetry--because it breaks the flow or causes it to be rocky.

The stranger cuts me, he hurts me inside
Seeing me bleed, because of he who cannot thrive
`Though these are strong, potent words, I feel like the rhyme sounds forced. Like it works, but at the same time, it doesn't. -shrugs. I don't have any suggestion for that though, just thought I'd point it out.

The body says to the heart, why do you hurt me?
Splitting my skin in two, why cant you just let me be
`Repitition of "me" at the end of both lines causes a closeness that makes it sound funny, also affecting the rhyme in a negative way.

The heart is sorry, all he knows is pain
He cuts to let the sorrow out, he cuts just to stay sane
`Another couplet that's very powerful -- but you use "he" a thrice, deriving the repitition problem. It takes away from the lines meaning, perhaps try rewording the lines?

The heart cries, the body drips
The blood runs down my fingertips
`The repeat of heart ... That also seems to take away from the piece. Also, you go from a long line, to extremely short ones and it breaks the flow quite noticably.

The heart is dead wile the body rots
Thinking about all the time its lost
`While* Again, heart. ++ here, I feel like, rots is a strong word, but then you use simple vocabulary in the second line. "Thinking" is very overused... Maybe grab a thesaurus?

He is dead and forgotten, but he still moves on
Hes living life even though hes gone
`Okay, the repitition of "he" here is just fine. It works. And I like these lines -- how, though he's passed, he's moving on. The lines contradict, but in a way that is easily interpreted in different ways that many can relate to.

This world doesn't need a depressed broken heart
That destroys its beholder, cutting it apart
`For some reason, I feel that there should be a comma between depressed and broken, for a sort of pause, because without it, I read on fluently and it sounds funky. Just a thought though, I guess people can figure it out on their own, either way. Also, I find it quite interesting -- the body speaking to its heart saying that it destroys the body ... though it's the body that at partial blame for harming itself. Just my outlook on it :)

Scars that forever bleed, cuts that wont heal
Pain that isn't forgotten, a fate that wont seal
`Beautiful ending. But I feel like there should be a change of wording -- to make it all the more stronger than it is. Like;

Scars that forever bleed, cuts that will never heal,
Pain that is not forgotten, a fate that will never seal.
-- Just a suggestion though; if you don't like it, don't worry, hon. It's an opinion :]

But overall, it was a nice poem. At times, you do REALLY good. Strong messages and powerful words coming from simple choices, but at other times, there's too much repitition, or you transition from long lines to short ones that break the flow of the piece. It was good though; nice job.

Just keep it at. I know you can better than you are already.
..__MiNDYY

This was very original and unique
I've never read a poem like this before
so I'll give you some props
The flow and everything was just awesome
keep writing I enjoy your work
5/5

This poem is beautiful...Im adding it to my favorites it affected me alot because it reminded me of myself...Very good use of words :] 5/5

Really well written, lots of raw emotion gone into it...well done and keep writing!

Very strong poem. so many feelings throughout.
n_n keep on writing

Great job, the emotion here was strong and the flow was flawless, an enjoyable poem, great job :D

Wow such an exquisit piece of writing! Very original and raw!

Wow... no words can explain how amazing that was._. AMAZING(: