God Why?

*I wrote this when I was like 11

God why were you there for me
when no one else was?
why do you care about me
when no one else does?

But then...

God why do you turn your back on me
when you hear someone else's call?
why do you forget to catch me
BEFORE I fall?

However,

God why do you do great things for me,
things I sometimes don’t deserve
and then sometimes you hold things back
even if my duties I have served?

and

God why right after I have sinned
are you ready to forgive?
Why do you listen to my apology prayer
even from the time out chair?

*i have VERY mixed feelings about God