they don't see what I'm really going threw anymore.
they act like I'm an open window that they can see threw..oh, so clearly.
but I'm not.
I'm actually a locked door.. a guard around my heart..the spot you wish you would never be in.that's what i am..and that's what i feel like I'll ever be.
she tells me i can speak.. i tell her .."but i do." she screams and yells over something so little..over a thing that i say..better yet that i even do. she wonders why i don't try anymore..she gives me no hope.
she doesn't believe in me, so why believe in my self.
the worst of them all is him.. I'm the second best in his life.
first it's "that girl".. then they're comes me. unless if he's doing the same thing to her..once it always it. as they claim.
i don't tell lies..i just speak the truth.
you don't believe me? .. look at you.
Ur the liar..you're the pretender.
what do i owe you out of this world?
what could i possibly do to make it to where things were how they used to be?
i hope I'm writing clearly enough so you can almost feel... take a glimpse..taste a little of the pain i feel.
i hope when it comes down to you having to say sorry..you give me the best apology that you have ever said to your self..ever written in your little palm pilot.
better yet, i hope when you say it...when you're finally ready too..
that I'll be gone.
i hope that one day you'll realize on how much of me you missed out on.
i wonder if you even remember when you held me.. or when i would cry. do you even remember those days?
i do.
but what does it matter. it's you..your life.
but yet I'm the one who's changed.
it probably seems that way because you haven't given the time of day to me in 2 years.
yea, i defiantly wouldn't blame you.
i just blame every single thing you ever put me threw.
i hope one day she'll leave you just like you left us..i hope one day you try to come back.
but my doors will still be locked.
my heart won't be open.
my guard will still be up,
and i'll still be in that place, only this time it's that place you wish you were in.
