Well, I liked this peice. I think that it could of continued. But overall, great jon. I liked the whole his thoughts then hers type of thing. Also, your flow was flawless. Great job!

Amber...

Wow! i loved it! great job well done =D

Wow, wow, wow, girl! This was absolutely fantastic. Something fresh and different. Not only for you but just the form was refreshing to see....not the same old same old. Amazing job girl...I'm proud of yah! :)
~Midnight Sun

Great write. I absolutely love the format of this piece, it just flows so brilliantly. Very unusual idea for a poem and makes it stand out from the crowd.
I think most people have wished they could at one point in their lives wished they could see what was going on in someone elses mind.
I'm normally the type of person that likes a poem to be short and leave things to the imagination. I would have loved to see this one take its time to get to the conclusion. That could just be because the format is so good.

I want to say an extension would make this better, but it already an amazing piece.

Great work.
[5/5]

I like the way you've written this from the his/her perspective....flows nicely and has a good rhyme scheme.....take care, Debbie

I particularly liked the constant transition from her to him. i thought it added for a very powerful effect on the overall piece. the imagery portrayed was wonderfully done, it created very vivid pictures for me. i was a little thrown off by the "move" and "To" rhyme scheme. i thought it made the flow a little shaky. beautiful ending, very hard hitting and intense. overall, this is a beautiful write.