Losing Grip

I heard it through the grapevine from a friend of mine,
That you`ve moved on, got someone on your mind;
She was afraid to tell me, I could see it in her eyes;
And I could hear it in her shaky voice as she spoke.
"I don`t want you to lose your cool, just shake it off,
You`ve risen above this and you should move on."
She said as she looked into my eyes and sighed.
I don`t know if she could see it then, or if she didn`t,
But my eyes hold the truth, and they weren`t happy.
"I`m not losing grip, I promise you I will be alright,
It`s just another heart that he will use and break,
Better her than me, I`m through with his games."
With a ceramic smile, I flashed her a pretty disguise,
And how foolish I was when I thought she believed me.
Cursing my conscience as I walked home, I laughed;
Always known as the naive one, always will be.
I seen her game before me, and now I see it through;
So I rewound my thoughts, went back to earlier;
When she sat by me, took a deep breath and sighed;
I remembered the fear imprinted in her green eyes,
The same fear coated onto her shaking breath.
But then I remembered how she looked away from me,
When she told me about this new girl he had,
And how she didn`t look back until I answered.
And now it hits me, just a few moments too late.
She is the new girl, went running into his arms,
Figuring I was okay with it all, but I`m not.
If I would have just let go of my disguise for once,
Tell her what I truly felt about him, than maybe,
I would be the one going back into his arms.
He told me just last night that he loved me,
That he will forever, indoctrinating my thoughts,
And I pretended to be over him, telling him to go,
Spinning this web of pathetic lies slurring off my tongue.
Losing grip, I held onto my falling rationality,
Shook of my disguise, finally took the time to cry.

-Jenna Elphick
October 6, 2007