This is a great poem. It's so full of emotion, and it flows very well. 5/5.

I think the best part of this poem was describing how the cuddling and everything was denied, and at the line about collecting was quite sad to see and feel as though a person had been used. I don't know what exactly to get from this read, I mean you had descriptions more than I this and I that, "We're at one with the shadows, wind in our face." And the rhymic of this part, "No Cuddling, No Smoking,
No Tickling, No Joking,
No Playing, No Laughing,
No Loving, No Passion.
No Clothes and no shoes,
Just out and out used." But the whole poem made me feel so sad, deeply depressive sad, and I don't know if that is what you intended for a reader.

PRAISE:

Very well written piece of poetry. I loved the way this flowed and your choice of words was excellent. The rhymes where good.

CRITIQUE:

First stanza third line, "though" should be, "through"

I felt you don't need "and" in these lines,
"No forcing and sucking"
"No Clothes and no shoes"
For it flows better without it.

Peace, Joe

Wow. it was good, well now i sorta
know how a hooker works. when
you put in the parts where it says
no to everything, i thought those
parts were funny, but all in all, it
was a well written poem. def 5/5

nikki

For your first attempt at explicit, I think you did a pretty good job.
The imagery you created paints very vivid pictures for the reader, the word choice and rhyme scheme is enjoyable.
I loved the ending, powerful and intense.
The only thing that I would change about this is the repeated use of the word 'and.'
But apart from that, I think this was perfect.

What a fantastic poem... You made me feel like I was there feeling all the feelings from both sides... It would have to be up there with some of the best I've read....

Well Done...

Cheers Dee :)

Amazing write, this was very good and i could pick up that it was about a harlot right away haha. And i loved this stanza

"Beautiful face; so out of place with this scene,
Body so perfectly shaped, makes it hard to believe.
She knows that I want her; she wants me too,
She'll do everything that I want her to do."

Good ol' women of the night lol, always so eager. haha

5/5 keep up the great writing

This poem stands out because there is a message in it. It makes me realize how a guy must feel, when the lust dies and he knows she just in it for the money...
But hey, we have to be glad there are still girls willing to do it even with aids and all!!
Where would a young man turn to otherwise if he were single and had no gf at all?
Great write, strong feelings, yup I'm giving you a 5/5.

Take care,

Ingrid

WOW! That just blew me away. I loved how you just told a story and I could easily follow along. The scene in the beginning was described so beautifully, I felt as if I was there. Well done *5/5*

Gret poem and emotion as well

Oh wow, I'm not sure what to say... this was great. I love the of idea and the message of the poem, how meaningless and emotionless "just sex" can be. Expecially when you have to pay. haha I honestly didn't get she was a hooker at first lol. You really told a great story in a beautiful poetic form. 5/5

marcella